Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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