I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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