i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
