I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
