Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
