Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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