Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
