Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
