god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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