ya dads aren't the best wingmen
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
