Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
