So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
