Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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