the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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