Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
