Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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