Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
