Midget sex pt 2 tonight
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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