Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
