What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
