i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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