I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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