I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
