Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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