We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
