she was so not down for the gang bang
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
