So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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