Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
