You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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