Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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