Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
