she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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