just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
