Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
