I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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