i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she smelled like a LAN party
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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