If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
