No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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