did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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