Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
