So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
