I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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