I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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