Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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