he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
