Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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