Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
