I want to stick my p in your. b.
where am i from again
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
