Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
