your thong is hanging out like whoa
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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