party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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